I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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