Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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