This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
