i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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