So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently the secret to your success is patron
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
