trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
