he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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