Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
