Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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