Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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