My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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