He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
