I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
worst night to have a conscience
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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