clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
