dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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