They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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