Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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