Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
