I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have aggressive nipples.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
