Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
