Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
