So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
