If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
