I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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