I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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