The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
