so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This is classic penis vs brain.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
