evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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