just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
