I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
