I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my phone needs a breathalizer
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
