Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't deserve a penis
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
