I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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