whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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