im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
