508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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