If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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