he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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