Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He? As in you personified your dick?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
