The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
