Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
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