i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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