I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
