I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
