i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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