Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
