Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
