He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
