Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
