Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
