called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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