I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
