scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Say something about gay babies.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
