The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
