We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
