arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Fuck appropriateness.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
