Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
